but now I can only rage in cold fire. currently on cnn's front page of their website: "report fuels guantanamo criticism"
time magazine, in all of their discerning wisdom, conducted additional investigation of guantanamo bay's treatment of detainees in the aftermath of newsweek's [bordering-on] fradulent accusations just a couple short weeks ago. they were shocked at our troops' conduct, with the most damning criticism falling on the treatment of mohammed al-qahtani, allegedly the "20th hijacker" in the attacks (as opposed to the term tragedy now being used in major media outlets - on a side note, I read orwell's "politics and the english langauge" recently; entirely applicable to this nonsense) of september 11th. their investigation revealed the worst conduct to be:
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According to the logbook, which covers al-Qahtani's interrogations from November 2002 to January 2003, the Time article reports that daily interviews began at 4 a.m. and sometimes continued until midnight.
The interrogation techniques included refusing al-Qahtani a bathroom break and forcing him to urinate in his pants.
Afterward, interrogators began their sessions with al-Qahtani at midnight and awakened him with dripping water or Christina Aguilera music if he dozed off, the magazine article reported.
The magazine said the techniques approved by Rumsfeld included "standing for prolonged periods, isolation for as long as 30 days, removal of clothing, forced shaving of facial hair" and hanging "pictures of scantily clad women around his neck."
---
this conduct was presented in a most intense fashion deserving of the highest scrutiny. additional comments were provided by one representative chuck hagel, who in full brilliance was quoted as saying, "If in fact we are treating prisoners this way, it's not only wrong, it's dangerous and very dumb and very shortsighted." additionally, the great defender of liberty - senator dianne feinstein - told the american public that "I don't know why we didn't learn from Bagram," she added, referring to a U.S. base in Afghanistan. "I don't know why we didn't learn from Abu Ghraib [prison in Iraq], but here we are in Guantanamo with many of the same things surfacing."
I'd like to officially present a moment of silence for the incredible mistreatment this man received in the course of his incarceration.
...
...
fucking idiots. worse things happen in nearly all toned-down fraternity "hazings" at schools where hazings have been outlawed. and to think this merits the front page on the world's most repsected media website.
[if you think I'm being too harsh on this one, read the commentary and gravity in the article.]
surely our troops that have been captured by the likes of folks like al-qhatani and endured [actual] torture events (i.e. electro-genital torture, extreme physical abuse including broken bones apparent on video tape, and of course the final beheading to end the happy affair) would be pleased to "endure" treatment that pales to their first day of boot camp.
the folks in this article are the same people [including the media that fuels their coverage] who, if given the opportunity, would have spent the final months of world war two discussing the bombing of dresden and nothing else. after the war would have been concluded, similar events would have been the only acceptable subjects for conversation about the war. the only tolerated framework to discuss the war would have included dresden, nagasaki, and hiroshima. and the japanese internment. [oh wait]
sort of how a twenty-three item list regarding casus belli in iraq devolved to wmds.
sort of how a sustained military conflict in afghanistan and iraq became nothing more than a means for rumsfeld and bush to impose abu ghraib and gitmo on unrepresented, oppressed muslims.
fucking idiots.
I take it back - I was angry at first, and then I calmed down. the anger is most definitely back.
day 9.summary of recent news:1. I am officially gradumacated. :D it sunk in just as I was walking on stage to shake ronthom's hand and before the rain started pouring down. it still has not entirely sunk in, or perhaps it was simply presumed several months ago. looking back, I feel like part of my heart either died or left this place long before the year was over. I didn't completely check out before the year finished, but I think my heart left UPS before the year even started. I remember the first few days back from summer, knowing that I was not home and that the home I yearned for could not be found on this earth. perhaps I bludgeoned my heart into place and ignored that sense of loss and it simply stayed there, unnoticed and unabated.nonetheless, my heart soars becausea.) I will be at soundview this summer, serving and being served by God. my soul yearns for restoration and the washing that it so desparately needs, much of which will undoubtedly come from fulfillment [if I have learned one thing since working at soundview, it is that I am a servant by nature and need to be in a place where I can serve or else my soul grows weary].b.) uw starts just a few weeks after soundview. words fail to express how much I am looking forward to graduate school, as they also fail to describe how terrified I am of the same thought. I take that to be a good sign. :D2. just spent this past weekend with jim in olympia-land: kayaking, hiking, movieing, &c. praise God for brothers and the bond that comes only in His Kingdom.3. please pray for my parents. fifteen years after they should have, they are beginning marriage counseling and they need every bit of support that can be found.4. also, please pray for me and rachel. we desparately require grace, clear vision, and overflowing love.5. this upcoming week I will be at soundview, working and helping the place get ready for summer campers. incidentally, if you want to reach me over the summer, send mail to:8515 kphslongbranch, wa 98351you will get special mail back. :p6. now that I have time to read again, I sort of went overboard. here is the current reading list I'd like to knock off in the next several months/years:bakke.joy at workbonhoeffer.testament to freedomchernow.alexander hamiltondostoevsky.writer's diarygirard.I see satan fall like lightninggirard.things hidden since the foundation of the worldgirard.violence and the sacredgibbon.history of the fall and decline of the roman empireheller.catch 22kant.basic writingskierkegaard.fear and tremblingkierkegaard.practice in christianitylewis.reflections on the psalmsmoran.introduction to phenomenologynietzche.basic writingsrabinovich.the yom kippur warpenrose.road to realitypeterson.christ plays in ten thousand placespiper.future gracestrassler.landmark thucydidesI am currently digesting don quixote. slowly digesting anyway.anyway, kristan has to go. more to come shortly. God go with you folks."Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
a member of Iraq's Ansar Al-Sunna terrorist group was recently interviewed on an Iraqi television network. a partial transcript follows:---
’Adnan Elias: They told us to take him to the house of Habib ‘Izzat Hamu. We took him out there. We said to him: “Why did you do this and that… Why are you after us?” He answered: “It’s out of our hands. We get orders.” Then we were told to bring a knife.
Interviewer: You slaughtered him?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. Habib ‘Izzat Hamu got the knife. He slaughtered him, and when he was dead, he opened his shirt buttons and cut open his stomach.
Interviewer: Who opened him up?
‘Adnan Elias: Muhsin, sir.
Interviewer: When a doctor performs an operation he wears a surgeon’s mask over his nose and mouth.
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one.
Interviewer: He didn’t wear one?
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one. He cut open his stomach and took stuff out.
Interviewer: What did he take out?
‘Adnan Elias: I don’t know, his guts.
Interviewer: Weren’t you nauseous? Didn’t you vomit?
‘Adnan Elias: You mean Muhsin?
Interviewer: No, you.
‘Adnan Elias: I was standing a little bit aside.
Interviewer: And he didn’t vomit or get nauseous?
‘Adnan Elias: No, sir.
Interviewer: What is he, Dracula?
‘Adnan Elias: Huh?
Interviewer: Go on.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. He opened him up, took stuff out, and put TNT and explosives inside. Then he sewed up his stomach with thick thread.
Interviewer: With thread?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes. And a needle. He put the buttons back in place...
Interviewer: He buttoned him up.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, he buttoned him up. We were told to take him in the car near the square in Tel A’far. We threw him there and placed his head back on his shoulders.
Interviewer: My God!
‘Adnan Elias: 15 to 30 minutes later they told his family to come and get their son. His father came with two policemen. They picked up the body and made no more than two steps – we were standing far away – Ahmad Sinjar pressed the button.
Interviewer: By remote control.
‘Adnan Elias: The body exploded on them, and they died.
Interviewer: So his father and the two policemen died.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes sir, and we took off.---michael moore could not be reached for comment. ---
God help the Iraqi people and protect our servicemen."Man creates what he calls history as a screen to conceal the workings of the apocalypse from himself."- Northrop Frye
I hope to post much more consistently as soon as finals are over..1. senior thesis seminar is today. symmetry in mechanics.basic idea: symmetries of a system preserve the solution space. the conjugate momentum to a Lie symmetry's canonical translation coordinate is a resulting invariant up to a gauge-correction term.2. prase God! He has given a place to live next year. a really nice place on lake union. a place close enough to walk back and forth from uw. a place where I could kayak every morning on foggy waters before class. a place to bring folks and host them next year.God's grace and provision are humbling things. childlike revelry in the goodness of our Father glorifies Him, but sometimes when we realize the humiliation we put Him through as He gives those gifts.. praise be to the God who by all rights should obliterate us, but instead washes our feet and gives new life.3. in lieu of the "bush lied! people died!' mantra that pervades any liberal campus like UPS, I thought it might be nice to see the democratic party's stance on WMDs up until michael moore.---"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line." President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998 "If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998. "Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face." Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998. "He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983." Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18,1998. "[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs." Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, John Kerry, and others Oct. 9, 1998 "Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998. "Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies." Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999."There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has reinvigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies." Letter to President Bush, Signed by Joe Lieberman (D-CT), John McCain (Rino-AZ) and others, Dec. 5, 2001 "We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them." Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002. "We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002. "Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002. "We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002. ---reiterating the twenty-three item list (one of which pertained to WMD development) drawn up by a bipartisan senate to justify war in iraq would simply be unnecessary.but oh right, I forgot, our nation exists to serve oil interests. golly.---God will hold our nation accountable on the Day of Days. we will not stand without guilt, and we will know both the works God has accomplished through our country and the miseries internal and external. praise Him that He will judge with perfect wisdom, justice, and grace.---"Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
time magazine recently published an article detailing possible negotiations between secular iraqi insurgents and american military forces. call me cynical, but I'd give a 60/40 chance that the negotiations are bogus and the leak to time was political and psychological in nature. consider the introductory quote in the article:An account of the secret meeting between the senior insurgent negotiator and the U.S. military officials was provided to TIME by the insurgent negotiator. He says two such meetings have taken place. While U.S. officials would not confirm the details of any specific meetings, sources in Washington told TIME that for the first time the U.S. is in direct contact with members of the Sunni insurgency, including former members of Saddam's Baathist regime. Pentagon officials say the secret contacts with insurgent leaders are being conducted mainly by U.S. diplomats and intelligence officers. A Western observer close to the discussions says that "there is no authorized dialogue with the insurgents" but that the U.S. has joined "back-channel" communications with rebels. Says the observer: "There's a lot bubbling under the surface today."now, why precisely would the insurgents (read: terrorist war criminals) in question choose to leak accounts of these negotiations? why would they specifically choose to leak them to time? in any event, we conclude that the leak was not random and it was motivated by self-interest. the question is what self-interest motivated the leak. there are two primary candidates:1. the negotiator leaked accounts to time as a means of arousing an American public eager for an excuse to leave Iraq to put additional pressure on the military. this pressure might speed up negotiations and/or persuade our military to grant additional concessions as this newest public relations campaign begins.2. the negotiator leaked accounts to time (a well-known mouthpiece of the ted "who cares about an election; I want an exit strategy" kennedy segment of American culture) as a means of arousing the American public (specifically the already-sympathetic anti-war subculture) as above, as a means of weakening our resolve to prolonged nation-building and/or conflict in Iraq. this would be consistent with bogus negotiations. once such talks were revealed as bogus, hopes would be let down further and there would be increased political pressure to withdraw from Iraq in the absence of a complete clean-up of insurgent activities.in either event, we must recognize this leak for what it is: a call to arms from subhuman criminals to the michael moore-spoonfed crowd to grant concessions/mercy devoid of merit or justice."Mercy without Justice becomes unmerciful."- C. S. LewisUPDATE: let me make clear what I describe as mercy in the final paragraph above. I look forward to the day when we will be able to properly exhibit mercy and compassion towards these folks, no matter how vile they may be. it will be our joy and call as Christians. however, when these folks receive compassion/mercy, it should be an act of volition, enabled by the Spirit. it should not be a result of mindless political pressure and ignorance.
praise God!got accepted into UW's ph.d. program for physics with a physics department fellowship. UW's particle physics division is highly ranked (#8) and their theory subset is particularly distinguished. I'm going up in a couple weekends to meet with faculty (hopefully matt strassler) and get introduced to the department.this whole process has been an answer to so many prayers. I am still waiting to hear back from the eight other schools I applied to, trusting that God will take me wherever He wants to. however, I am seriously looking into uw's program for now and am more than enthused.continuing prayer. I will admit I want to hear back from these schools now rather than later, especially as rachel is now intermixed with my future plans. basically lots of prayer.quote of the day:"Objective evidence and certitude are doubtless very fine ideals to play with, but where on this moonlit and dream-visited planet are they found?" - William Jamesthus illustrating the necessity of revelation in a convicted religious life.
here's a prayer I wrote down about a year ago. I just came across it; it's amazing how much we forget in such a short amount of time.
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"Search me, O God and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."
- Psalm 139: 23-24
Father-
I am a sinner Lord. I confess my weakness, the rebellion of my flesh, and the pride of my love. God, it is only by Your grace--Your perfect, complete grace--that I do not wither away before Your Presence. LORD, You know my heart. You know it to the depths, in all of its formed glory and its rebellious death. Jesus, You know my heart and my needs. You know because You are my creator and author. Even more, Your Spirit dwells inside of me--a Voice and a Power that straps all other gifts save Yours for comparison. LORD, why do I tolerate living in idolatry? In trying to serve You and the other masters of my life? LORD, I confess that I am an idolater, that I place the pleasure and joy in other peoples' eyes above that of Your own.
"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."
And then Lord, there is this stuff with Laurie. It feels like the biggest thing of all resting on my heart right now. Is it this simple? Is this feeling in the pit of my stomach a feeling that I get from my own conscience and the disapproval of others or is it from Your Spirit? God, if You want me to drop this relationship... I will. I talked with her not eve a week ago and I confess: I want to hold onto her! I love being able to spend time with her, I love being able to enjoy her presence, and I love her touch, but there are two questions that are far more important:
(1.) Is it Your will? Do you want me to step out of this? [If so, please speak through the web of confusion and fog surrounding my perception and speak Truth into my heart]
(2.) She needs to come to know Your love. Not really a question, but she does. As I am seeking more of her life, I am beginning to see how much she need You. I pray that by this relationship, You would speak to her. Lord, I pray for pain and I pray for tension in her heart. Your Kingdom is here and she was made to be your daugher and a citizen of that glorious realm. That's what she was made for!
"Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."
- Psalm 57:76
And so, I lay Laurie before Your Cross, as I lay my own life there. I am Yours. You came and You bought me with a price, suffering, rejected, and despised. LORD, I don't want to live a life identifying with, supporting, or giving in to the world that murdered You, not knowing what they were doing. Not in bitterness did You die, but in love and as the ultimate act of grace. We live in Your light and desire to see it this day. Praise You for Your peace Jesus, and we pray for it.
"My peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
- John 14:27
We are Yours. Praise You!
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given how much my heart was wrenched as I wrote that down.. I don't know. I can do nothing but recognize God's quiet voice, His faithfulness in answering the prayers above, and continue to pray that God would RESCUE Laurie. and proclaim His ever-present grace, grace that frees us and enables us to live as we were created to live.
