quals & incomprehensibility

From a table at Verite Coffee in Ballard:

Qualifying exams start in eight days. At which point we can be tested on, well, *anything* that we should have learned including a large variety of things which we should have been taught (*cough* rehr *cough*) but weren't. Alas. Rather scary.
*September 13th-
- 0900 - Quantum Mechanics
- 1200 - Statistical Mechanics
- 1500 - Superbasic
*September 14th-
- 0900 - Electrodynamics
- 1200 - Classical Mechanics

With the exception of Hamilton-Jacobi theory and anharmonic quasi-frequencies, classical is done. So far, I've been able to complete every quantum test I've tried in less than 20-40 minutes with ~98% accuracy...

Brief digression: I've noticed consistently low expectations for students' abilities to *do* quantum since the beginning of undergrad, continuing through the present. Which is really quite sad. I don't know if that's a reflection of poor intuition for how quantum systems operate or the non-analytic solubility of most quantum problems, but either way it's dissapointing. Or perhaps I'm just really arrogant.

Similar feelings on the Superbasic (thorough knowledge of intro + modern). This leaves E/M and SM. I've spent most of the past week on E/M and have it up to the acceptable level of preparation.. which leaves me near-terrified about statmech. Fortunately, it looks like the next week is going to be the biggest crash course in my life to finally *really* learn what we should have understood after taking a freaking course in the subject during winter quarter. Thank God for the remaining time given.

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In other recent news:
- Jim got his massive fish tank. It lights up our living room quite splendidly. He also just got a weight bench & such.. in the apparent hope of working out.
- We also just got a pullup bar. I confess I didn't know you could install them in your home until now.. and I'm really quite happy to be so presently informed. Pullups are a blessed gift straight from the Throne.
- Just finished campsitting for Dave/Sarah last week while they went off for a wedding. Was great for all concerned. 'Twas mighty nice to spend time on site.. and on the Woods. I need to get out there after quals and have some serious time at the waterfront with Jesus..
- Kathryn came up this past weekend.. I wish I didn't have to study for most of the time, but we still had a good amount of fun. She's maturing fast. I want to say that I can see God growing her in profound ways.. but I can't quite enumerate/articulate them definitively. Doesn't mean it isn't true though.
- Upon the longstanding recommendation from several folks, Jim and I picked up the first four episodes of '24' a couple nights ago from Hollywood video. Holy crap. Kathryn pointed out how much it pulled Jim/me into it.. apparently Jim bites his cuticles and I start going crazy playing with my beard when we're tense and don't think anyone's watching.
- Got to visit UPS for a bit last week... I'm really happy that folks are back. I look forward to going down as soon as possible.. Bryan is particularly on my mind and heart right now. God be with Him and make his way straight.

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And now for a theological digresson:

In intellectual pursuits, it is revealing that the stated goal of the study of a subject is often to attain *mastery* of it. This mastery is perhaps best seen in the concise description of complicated abstractions therein and the competent defense of particular viewpoints within the whole. As a 20's-something male, I can attest to the sense of power that comes with both of the above. However, the interesting consequence is that this 'mastery' implies subset inclusion. In other words, subjects or aspects therein that I have mastered are smaller than me in the sense of understanding. To use more martial vocabulary, 'mastered' understanding is tantamount to conquest over the subject matter and the revelation of self-capacity. It need not proceed to contempt, but this certainly happens more often than not.

An interesting investigation from here involves looking at how God wants to keep us humble in the midst of intellectual pursuits where the 'mastery' involved is not illusory. However, let's go to something a little bigger.

I am unable to simultaneously be honest and competently defend things beyond my mastery: I must choose one or the other. But what of God and Jesus? Can I honestly claim to have mastered the knowledge and wisdom of God? Absolutely not.

All of my attempts to intellectually defend Christ are nothing more than the expression of contempt and foolish arrogance.

Perhaps a dry way of looking at this (but still with power) is via epistemology or the process of knowledge-gathering. The progression of the questions of Christianity for which we need knowledge goes thus:
1. Is there a God?
2. What is our relationship to Him?
3. If broken, how broken? If good, how good?
4. If broken, can it be reconciled? If, then how?

At every point, firm knowledge requires revelation. There is simply no other tool available. The measurement of internal parameters offers only speculation as to what lies outside. At this point, atheists rely on whatever a priori tools they can find to justify the epistemological leap of declaring the impasse to in fact constitute disproof. Agnostics may remain intellectually consistent by recognizing the possibility of revelation juxtaposed against an apparent lack (brought on by self-ignorance or genuine ignorance) of revelation. And Christians..

How is one to go and advocate an answer to any of the above questions with worldly means when their resolution demands revelation? Such intention is madness.

Thus informed, apologetics and the advocacy of our faith requires us to start at this simple fact: the revelation that is Christianity is incomprehensible to human understanding. The depths of sin are infinitely beyond anything that worldly wisdom can tell us. Consequently, the fulness of grace is also infinitely beyond human conception.

NOTE: This applies just as well for Christians as for non-Christians. The simple posession of words to describe evident phenomena does not imply understanding of the mechanism that produces them.

The resulting incomprehensibility of the Gospel and Jesus are utterly needed in our relationship with Christ and our presentation of His work to the unbelieving world.

And thus true and full wonder is sparked. Or rather lightning-bolted. And thus also our love for Jesus is made more of what it should be.

"Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those who believe, Christ the power of God and wisdom of God." - I Corinthians 1:17 (I think)