1. California high school sued over 'intelligent design' class [or, creationists take scientists' advice; get sued]
yet another case of bloody creationists trying to take over the science classroom and impose theocracy, right?
Frazier Mountain High in Lebec violated the separation of church and state while attempting to legitimize the theory of "intelligent design" by introducing it as a philosophy class, according to the federal lawsuit filed by parents of 13 students.
apparently the lawyers didn't get the memo on this one. you know, the one where scientists kept coming forward and saying that intelligent design wasn't really science and that it belonged to philosophy..
oops.
to be fair, as the article goes on, it turns out the class isn't exactly taught in an intellectually balanced/mature/fair/et al fashion. but don't expect a lot out of this one except a huge gasp of irony about a year down the road.
2. Judge: Baby on board is no excuse [or, sexism hits a new low]
PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- Fetuses do not count as passengers when it comes to determining who may drive in the carpool lane, a judge has ruled.
Candace Dickinson was fined $367 for improper use of a carpool lane, but contended her unborn child qualified to use the lane. Motorists who use the lanes normally must carry at least one passenger during weekday rush hours.
that's freaking hilarious.
the money quote comes a little further in the article:
Norton said Dickinson's theory "would require officers to carry guns, radios and pregnancy testers, and I don't think we want to go there."
3. Musical breast implants [or, err.. I'm not even gonna try]
I think the iPod trend has gone just a tad too far.
the money quote comes from the guy developing the technology, who by the way happens to be a total engineer:
According to The Sun he said: "It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."
total engineer. I do have one question for this guy though: how ya planning on downloading new music? call it a hunch (ha!), but something makes me think that USB won't be too popular.
---
in other news, 'tis been a good week. we have a russkie for statmech who makes me crack up each time in lecture. I've never seen someone get so physically intense over physics before. let alone in a russian accent.
boo yah.
---
"'I Am', He said with power
'I Am,' His glory shone
His eyes pierced through like
Sunlight piercing through the sea
My soul has been on fire
My world turned upside-down
Ever since He spoke
Those words to me."
- Fisherman (Don McIntrye)
10.1.06
On Guilt, Part 1
general note for this and future posts that will undoubtedly get pretty messy:
as much as possible, I am going to try to write about the craziness in my own life and not about the simultaneous details in other folks' lives. for example, when I write/process about dating rachel, the writing is going to be limited as much as possible to my choices/shortcomings/et al rather than a comphrehensive summary of the matter. emphasis will be placed on my internal dynamics rather than the actions/modes of the other people involved (after all, their privacy is at stake). the self-centeredness will assuredly rise out of confession rather than pride (if only due to the nature of the content).
the objective here is honest self-examination in the possible presence of some peers that will be altogether good. for a variety of reasons (some eluciadated in this post), I tend to be quite reclusive with the deeper details of my life with the two-fold consequence:
1. separation from friends
2. induced lack of self-knowledge (with the primary concern being full honesty)
hopefully this exercise will help towards getting past this silliness.
---
anyone who's known me longer than ten minutes probably knows that I am extremely vulnerable to guilt trips. and by extremely, I mean that you could probably have me feeling sicker than a kitten on anthrax inside of ten minutes over just about nothing. it follows pretty easily that I consider myself somewhat qualified to talk objectively about the role of guilt in my life; I will extrapolate generally as able.
before beginning, I'm not talking about the healthy sense of guilt that happens when we know we muck it up and need to do something to recompense. the dominant mechanism there is a form of repentance, which is by very nature an active thing. no, I'm talking about the kind of guilt that leaves you feeling sick inside and unable to move. this brings us to the first general property of guilt and its effects:
1. guilt tends to be a pacifier (it incapacitates)
I speak not of pacificsm but of the stopping that guilt causes. it tends to be an immobilizing force that renders static any dynamic internal quality and seeks to impose a stoppage on the relationship with the outside world. for this reason..
2. guilt tends to separate
in particular, it naturally follows from the above that guilt separates people from people, putting an unspoken distance in friendship and spreading a silence over the things that matter. the mechanism here is effectively a distancing of the self from reality in relationships, which spills over into a separation of the subject from himself. because of the guilt, he feels less and less like himself each day that he recognizes its power - a feeling that is rooted in the psychological fact of the actual (instead of merely perceived) distancing. finally and most importantly, since the guilt separates and distances from reality in the two human forms of relationship (with others, self-interaction), it extends to God and turns our faces from Him.
so far, I've spoken of guilt as the active agent here. I don't think that's entirely accurate. in a sense, it becomes something altogether its own, but our volition is still involved. in that sense, we use guilt to achieve passification and separation, generally in order to deal with its more violent effects.
that's all for now. I need to sleep. :D continuation anchored in personal anecdote will follow.
---
"It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. And yet for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His percet patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
- I Timothy 1:15-17
as much as possible, I am going to try to write about the craziness in my own life and not about the simultaneous details in other folks' lives. for example, when I write/process about dating rachel, the writing is going to be limited as much as possible to my choices/shortcomings/et al rather than a comphrehensive summary of the matter. emphasis will be placed on my internal dynamics rather than the actions/modes of the other people involved (after all, their privacy is at stake). the self-centeredness will assuredly rise out of confession rather than pride (if only due to the nature of the content).
the objective here is honest self-examination in the possible presence of some peers that will be altogether good. for a variety of reasons (some eluciadated in this post), I tend to be quite reclusive with the deeper details of my life with the two-fold consequence:
1. separation from friends
2. induced lack of self-knowledge (with the primary concern being full honesty)
hopefully this exercise will help towards getting past this silliness.
---
anyone who's known me longer than ten minutes probably knows that I am extremely vulnerable to guilt trips. and by extremely, I mean that you could probably have me feeling sicker than a kitten on anthrax inside of ten minutes over just about nothing. it follows pretty easily that I consider myself somewhat qualified to talk objectively about the role of guilt in my life; I will extrapolate generally as able.
before beginning, I'm not talking about the healthy sense of guilt that happens when we know we muck it up and need to do something to recompense. the dominant mechanism there is a form of repentance, which is by very nature an active thing. no, I'm talking about the kind of guilt that leaves you feeling sick inside and unable to move. this brings us to the first general property of guilt and its effects:
1. guilt tends to be a pacifier (it incapacitates)
I speak not of pacificsm but of the stopping that guilt causes. it tends to be an immobilizing force that renders static any dynamic internal quality and seeks to impose a stoppage on the relationship with the outside world. for this reason..
2. guilt tends to separate
in particular, it naturally follows from the above that guilt separates people from people, putting an unspoken distance in friendship and spreading a silence over the things that matter. the mechanism here is effectively a distancing of the self from reality in relationships, which spills over into a separation of the subject from himself. because of the guilt, he feels less and less like himself each day that he recognizes its power - a feeling that is rooted in the psychological fact of the actual (instead of merely perceived) distancing. finally and most importantly, since the guilt separates and distances from reality in the two human forms of relationship (with others, self-interaction), it extends to God and turns our faces from Him.
so far, I've spoken of guilt as the active agent here. I don't think that's entirely accurate. in a sense, it becomes something altogether its own, but our volition is still involved. in that sense, we use guilt to achieve passification and separation, generally in order to deal with its more violent effects.
that's all for now. I need to sleep. :D continuation anchored in personal anecdote will follow.
---
"It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. And yet for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His percet patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
- I Timothy 1:15-17
8.1.06
This Week
on tap for this week:
school-related-
- manifolds 1 (hopefully get the hang of it this semester) [M]
- quantum 1 [T]
- e/m 2 [Th]
- statmech 1 [F]
- giving a lecture on effective field theory for our 'lil "pedestrian journal club" [F]
life-related-
- dad's coming up to chill/get away from the estrogen [T]
- ?
current reading list:
- cervantes.don quixote
- dostoevsky.crime and punishment
- girard.I see satan fall like lightning
- peterson.Christ plays in ten thousand places
I think I just need to pick one and finish. alas.
---
And off of the block
I was headstrong and proud
At the front of the line
For the card-carrying, highbrowed
With both eyes fastened tight
Yet unscarred from the fight
Running at full tilt
My sword pulled from its hilt
It's funny how these days can slip away
- Our frail deeds
The last will wave goodbye
It's funny how the hope will bleed away
- The citadels
We build and fortify
Goodbye!
Night came and I broke my stride
I swallowed hard but never cried
When grace was easy to forget
I denounced the hypocrites
Casting first stones
Killing my own
Then You would unscale my blind eyes
And I stood battered but more wise
Fighting to accelerate
Shaking free from crippling weight
With resilience unsurpassed
I clawed my way to You at last
Hands on my knees
I wept at Your feet
I finally believed
That You still loved me
- Five Iron Frenzy, On Distant Shores
school-related-
- manifolds 1 (hopefully get the hang of it this semester) [M]
- quantum 1 [T]
- e/m 2 [Th]
- statmech 1 [F]
- giving a lecture on effective field theory for our 'lil "pedestrian journal club" [F]
life-related-
- dad's coming up to chill/get away from the estrogen [T]
- ?
current reading list:
- cervantes.don quixote
- dostoevsky.crime and punishment
- girard.I see satan fall like lightning
- peterson.Christ plays in ten thousand places
I think I just need to pick one and finish. alas.
---
And off of the block
I was headstrong and proud
At the front of the line
For the card-carrying, highbrowed
With both eyes fastened tight
Yet unscarred from the fight
Running at full tilt
My sword pulled from its hilt
It's funny how these days can slip away
- Our frail deeds
The last will wave goodbye
It's funny how the hope will bleed away
- The citadels
We build and fortify
Goodbye!
Night came and I broke my stride
I swallowed hard but never cried
When grace was easy to forget
I denounced the hypocrites
Casting first stones
Killing my own
Then You would unscale my blind eyes
And I stood battered but more wise
Fighting to accelerate
Shaking free from crippling weight
With resilience unsurpassed
I clawed my way to You at last
Hands on my knees
I wept at Your feet
I finally believed
That You still loved me
- Five Iron Frenzy, On Distant Shores
It's been a while
it's been far too long since I've last written on this blog, but I think that's a good thing. I think the biggest reason why I haven't put anything here lately has been withdrawal from the frustration/anger about politics that characterized so much of my last few months at UPS. when you write in a semi-public place like a blog, I think you're accountable to what you write and the effects it has on the readers you know and love. coming out of UPS, I held that most of what I would write would end up producing a negative effect for myself (providing means for merely venting meaningless political frustration) and for people around me (by dragging them down to the level of my anger). that was unacceptable.
random interlude: I'm not sure how universal the principle is, but the notion of venting as a healthy means of expunging anger is, if taken entirely unto itself, complete bullshit/skubala. venting is only useful/good when it is directed towards Reality, meaning when it is taken as a step towards actually dealing with the matter and the people involved. venting without reconciliatory motion only propagates entrenched pride and alienation. it also has the peculiar habit of invoking the victimage mechanism and thus is fully a member in the KoW.. the healthy ability that venting allows is the potential for humble dialogue, not the fulfillment of narcissistic [insert blank here depending on the particular psychological state concerned]. unsurprisingly, it follows that venting is a human mechanism redeemed by and fulfulled in the Incarnation.
I suppose that in the context of the first paragraph, the interlude isn't too random.
I want my writing here to be part of the moving-towards-reconciliation characteristic of Real interaction with Christ, realizing that it will be filled with my pride, my offense-taking, my unjust anger, my inability to communicate, and all the other things that, by all rights, should incapciate Jesus from doing anything useful/meaningful with my work. amazing what's possible with omnipotence.
and so, over the next several posts, I want to write on the following:
- full processing of UPS
- full processing of my relationship with Rachel
- account of this past summer (:D)
- observations on the recognition of evil
- lessons from Hitler
additionally, exciting times are afoot. scary and humbling as all get out, but because of the amazing potential therein. lots of joy & lots of prayer.
---
Christ, I submit to You. Make that submission reality.
---
"All poetry and music, and art of every true sort, bears witness to man's continual falling in love with beauty, and his desparate attempt to induce beauty to live with him and enrich his common life."
- J.B. Phillips
random interlude: I'm not sure how universal the principle is, but the notion of venting as a healthy means of expunging anger is, if taken entirely unto itself, complete bullshit/skubala. venting is only useful/good when it is directed towards Reality, meaning when it is taken as a step towards actually dealing with the matter and the people involved. venting without reconciliatory motion only propagates entrenched pride and alienation. it also has the peculiar habit of invoking the victimage mechanism and thus is fully a member in the KoW.. the healthy ability that venting allows is the potential for humble dialogue, not the fulfillment of narcissistic [insert blank here depending on the particular psychological state concerned]. unsurprisingly, it follows that venting is a human mechanism redeemed by and fulfulled in the Incarnation.
I suppose that in the context of the first paragraph, the interlude isn't too random.
I want my writing here to be part of the moving-towards-reconciliation characteristic of Real interaction with Christ, realizing that it will be filled with my pride, my offense-taking, my unjust anger, my inability to communicate, and all the other things that, by all rights, should incapciate Jesus from doing anything useful/meaningful with my work. amazing what's possible with omnipotence.
and so, over the next several posts, I want to write on the following:
- full processing of UPS
- full processing of my relationship with Rachel
- account of this past summer (:D)
- observations on the recognition of evil
- lessons from Hitler
additionally, exciting times are afoot. scary and humbling as all get out, but because of the amazing potential therein. lots of joy & lots of prayer.
---
Christ, I submit to You. Make that submission reality.
---
"All poetry and music, and art of every true sort, bears witness to man's continual falling in love with beauty, and his desparate attempt to induce beauty to live with him and enrich his common life."
- J.B. Phillips
12.6.05
I was angry before
but now I can only rage in cold fire.
currently on cnn's front page of their website: "report fuels guantanamo criticism"
time magazine, in all of their discerning wisdom, conducted additional investigation of guantanamo bay's treatment of detainees in the aftermath of newsweek's [bordering-on] fradulent accusations just a couple short weeks ago. they were shocked at our troops' conduct, with the most damning criticism falling on the treatment of mohammed al-qahtani, allegedly the "20th hijacker" in the attacks (as opposed to the term tragedy now being used in major media outlets - on a side note, I read orwell's "politics and the english langauge" recently; entirely applicable to this nonsense) of september 11th. their investigation revealed the worst conduct to be:
---
According to the logbook, which covers al-Qahtani's interrogations from November 2002 to January 2003, the Time article reports that daily interviews began at 4 a.m. and sometimes continued until midnight.
The interrogation techniques included refusing al-Qahtani a bathroom break and forcing him to urinate in his pants.
Afterward, interrogators began their sessions with al-Qahtani at midnight and awakened him with dripping water or Christina Aguilera music if he dozed off, the magazine article reported.
The magazine said the techniques approved by Rumsfeld included "standing for prolonged periods, isolation for as long as 30 days, removal of clothing, forced shaving of facial hair" and hanging "pictures of scantily clad women around his neck."
---
this conduct was presented in a most intense fashion deserving of the highest scrutiny. additional comments were provided by one representative chuck hagel, who in full brilliance was quoted as saying, "If in fact we are treating prisoners this way, it's not only wrong, it's dangerous and very dumb and very shortsighted." additionally, the great defender of liberty - senator dianne feinstein - told the american public that "I don't know why we didn't learn from Bagram," she added, referring to a U.S. base in Afghanistan. "I don't know why we didn't learn from Abu Ghraib [prison in Iraq], but here we are in Guantanamo with many of the same things surfacing."
I'd like to officially present a moment of silence for the incredible mistreatment this man received in the course of his incarceration.
...
...
fucking idiots. worse things happen in nearly all toned-down fraternity "hazings" at schools where hazings have been outlawed. and to think this merits the front page on the world's most repsected media website.
[if you think I'm being too harsh on this one, read the commentary and gravity in the article.]
surely our troops that have been captured by the likes of folks like al-qhatani and endured [actual] torture events (i.e. electro-genital torture, extreme physical abuse including broken bones apparent on video tape, and of course the final beheading to end the happy affair) would be pleased to "endure" treatment that pales to their first day of boot camp.
the folks in this article are the same people [including the media that fuels their coverage] who, if given the opportunity, would have spent the final months of world war two discussing the bombing of dresden and nothing else. after the war would have been concluded, similar events would have been the only acceptable subjects for conversation about the war. the only tolerated framework to discuss the war would have included dresden, nagasaki, and hiroshima. and the japanese internment. [oh wait]
sort of how a twenty-three item list regarding casus belli in iraq devolved to wmds.
sort of how a sustained military conflict in afghanistan and iraq became nothing more than a means for rumsfeld and bush to impose abu ghraib and gitmo on unrepresented, oppressed muslims.
fucking idiots.
I take it back - I was angry at first, and then I calmed down. the anger is most definitely back.
currently on cnn's front page of their website: "report fuels guantanamo criticism"
time magazine, in all of their discerning wisdom, conducted additional investigation of guantanamo bay's treatment of detainees in the aftermath of newsweek's [bordering-on] fradulent accusations just a couple short weeks ago. they were shocked at our troops' conduct, with the most damning criticism falling on the treatment of mohammed al-qahtani, allegedly the "20th hijacker" in the attacks (as opposed to the term tragedy now being used in major media outlets - on a side note, I read orwell's "politics and the english langauge" recently; entirely applicable to this nonsense) of september 11th. their investigation revealed the worst conduct to be:
---
According to the logbook, which covers al-Qahtani's interrogations from November 2002 to January 2003, the Time article reports that daily interviews began at 4 a.m. and sometimes continued until midnight.
The interrogation techniques included refusing al-Qahtani a bathroom break and forcing him to urinate in his pants.
Afterward, interrogators began their sessions with al-Qahtani at midnight and awakened him with dripping water or Christina Aguilera music if he dozed off, the magazine article reported.
The magazine said the techniques approved by Rumsfeld included "standing for prolonged periods, isolation for as long as 30 days, removal of clothing, forced shaving of facial hair" and hanging "pictures of scantily clad women around his neck."
---
this conduct was presented in a most intense fashion deserving of the highest scrutiny. additional comments were provided by one representative chuck hagel, who in full brilliance was quoted as saying, "If in fact we are treating prisoners this way, it's not only wrong, it's dangerous and very dumb and very shortsighted." additionally, the great defender of liberty - senator dianne feinstein - told the american public that "I don't know why we didn't learn from Bagram," she added, referring to a U.S. base in Afghanistan. "I don't know why we didn't learn from Abu Ghraib [prison in Iraq], but here we are in Guantanamo with many of the same things surfacing."
I'd like to officially present a moment of silence for the incredible mistreatment this man received in the course of his incarceration.
...
...
fucking idiots. worse things happen in nearly all toned-down fraternity "hazings" at schools where hazings have been outlawed. and to think this merits the front page on the world's most repsected media website.
[if you think I'm being too harsh on this one, read the commentary and gravity in the article.]
surely our troops that have been captured by the likes of folks like al-qhatani and endured [actual] torture events (i.e. electro-genital torture, extreme physical abuse including broken bones apparent on video tape, and of course the final beheading to end the happy affair) would be pleased to "endure" treatment that pales to their first day of boot camp.
the folks in this article are the same people [including the media that fuels their coverage] who, if given the opportunity, would have spent the final months of world war two discussing the bombing of dresden and nothing else. after the war would have been concluded, similar events would have been the only acceptable subjects for conversation about the war. the only tolerated framework to discuss the war would have included dresden, nagasaki, and hiroshima. and the japanese internment. [oh wait]
sort of how a twenty-three item list regarding casus belli in iraq devolved to wmds.
sort of how a sustained military conflict in afghanistan and iraq became nothing more than a means for rumsfeld and bush to impose abu ghraib and gitmo on unrepresented, oppressed muslims.
fucking idiots.
I take it back - I was angry at first, and then I calmed down. the anger is most definitely back.
30.5.05
aurorae vulticulus opacus..
day 9.
summary of recent news:
1. I am officially gradumacated. :D it sunk in just as I was walking on stage to shake ronthom's hand and before the rain started pouring down. it still has not entirely sunk in, or perhaps it was simply presumed several months ago. looking back, I feel like part of my heart either died or left this place long before the year was over. I didn't completely check out before the year finished, but I think my heart left UPS before the year even started. I remember the first few days back from summer, knowing that I was not home and that the home I yearned for could not be found on this earth. perhaps I bludgeoned my heart into place and ignored that sense of loss and it simply stayed there, unnoticed and unabated.
nonetheless, my heart soars because
a.) I will be at soundview this summer, serving and being served by God. my soul yearns for restoration and the washing that it so desparately needs, much of which will undoubtedly come from fulfillment [if I have learned one thing since working at soundview, it is that I am a servant by nature and need to be in a place where I can serve or else my soul grows weary].
b.) uw starts just a few weeks after soundview. words fail to express how much I am looking forward to graduate school, as they also fail to describe how terrified I am of the same thought. I take that to be a good sign. :D
2. just spent this past weekend with jim in olympia-land: kayaking, hiking, movieing, &c. praise God for brothers and the bond that comes only in His Kingdom.
3. please pray for my parents. fifteen years after they should have, they are beginning marriage counseling and they need every bit of support that can be found.
4. also, please pray for me and rachel. we desparately require grace, clear vision, and overflowing love.
5. this upcoming week I will be at soundview, working and helping the place get ready for summer campers. incidentally, if you want to reach me over the summer, send mail to:
8515 kphs
longbranch, wa 98351
you will get special mail back. :p
6. now that I have time to read again, I sort of went overboard. here is the current reading list I'd like to knock off in the next several months/years:
bakke.joy at work
bonhoeffer.testament to freedom
chernow.alexander hamilton
dostoevsky.writer's diary
girard.I see satan fall like lightning
girard.things hidden since the foundation of the world
girard.violence and the sacred
gibbon.history of the fall and decline of the roman empire
heller.catch 22
kant.basic writings
kierkegaard.fear and trembling
kierkegaard.practice in christianity
lewis.reflections on the psalms
moran.introduction to phenomenology
nietzche.basic writings
rabinovich.the yom kippur war
penrose.road to reality
peterson.christ plays in ten thousand places
piper.future grace
strassler.landmark thucydides
I am currently digesting don quixote. slowly digesting anyway.
anyway, kristan has to go. more to come shortly. God go with you folks.
"Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
summary of recent news:
1. I am officially gradumacated. :D it sunk in just as I was walking on stage to shake ronthom's hand and before the rain started pouring down. it still has not entirely sunk in, or perhaps it was simply presumed several months ago. looking back, I feel like part of my heart either died or left this place long before the year was over. I didn't completely check out before the year finished, but I think my heart left UPS before the year even started. I remember the first few days back from summer, knowing that I was not home and that the home I yearned for could not be found on this earth. perhaps I bludgeoned my heart into place and ignored that sense of loss and it simply stayed there, unnoticed and unabated.
nonetheless, my heart soars because
a.) I will be at soundview this summer, serving and being served by God. my soul yearns for restoration and the washing that it so desparately needs, much of which will undoubtedly come from fulfillment [if I have learned one thing since working at soundview, it is that I am a servant by nature and need to be in a place where I can serve or else my soul grows weary].
b.) uw starts just a few weeks after soundview. words fail to express how much I am looking forward to graduate school, as they also fail to describe how terrified I am of the same thought. I take that to be a good sign. :D
2. just spent this past weekend with jim in olympia-land: kayaking, hiking, movieing, &c. praise God for brothers and the bond that comes only in His Kingdom.
3. please pray for my parents. fifteen years after they should have, they are beginning marriage counseling and they need every bit of support that can be found.
4. also, please pray for me and rachel. we desparately require grace, clear vision, and overflowing love.
5. this upcoming week I will be at soundview, working and helping the place get ready for summer campers. incidentally, if you want to reach me over the summer, send mail to:
8515 kphs
longbranch, wa 98351
you will get special mail back. :p
6. now that I have time to read again, I sort of went overboard. here is the current reading list I'd like to knock off in the next several months/years:
bakke.joy at work
bonhoeffer.testament to freedom
chernow.alexander hamilton
dostoevsky.writer's diary
girard.I see satan fall like lightning
girard.things hidden since the foundation of the world
girard.violence and the sacred
gibbon.history of the fall and decline of the roman empire
heller.catch 22
kant.basic writings
kierkegaard.fear and trembling
kierkegaard.practice in christianity
lewis.reflections on the psalms
moran.introduction to phenomenology
nietzche.basic writings
rabinovich.the yom kippur war
penrose.road to reality
peterson.christ plays in ten thousand places
piper.future grace
strassler.landmark thucydides
I am currently digesting don quixote. slowly digesting anyway.
anyway, kristan has to go. more to come shortly. God go with you folks.
"Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
2.5.05
*this* is what the war on terror is about
a member of Iraq's Ansar Al-Sunna terrorist group was recently interviewed on an Iraqi television network. a partial transcript follows:
---
’Adnan Elias: They told us to take him to the house of Habib ‘Izzat Hamu. We took him out there. We said to him: “Why did you do this and that… Why are you after us?” He answered: “It’s out of our hands. We get orders.” Then we were told to bring a knife.
Interviewer: You slaughtered him?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. Habib ‘Izzat Hamu got the knife. He slaughtered him, and when he was dead, he opened his shirt buttons and cut open his stomach.
Interviewer: Who opened him up?
‘Adnan Elias: Muhsin, sir.
Interviewer: When a doctor performs an operation he wears a surgeon’s mask over his nose and mouth.
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one.
Interviewer: He didn’t wear one?
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one. He cut open his stomach and took stuff out.
Interviewer: What did he take out?
‘Adnan Elias: I don’t know, his guts.
Interviewer: Weren’t you nauseous? Didn’t you vomit?
‘Adnan Elias: You mean Muhsin?
Interviewer: No, you.
‘Adnan Elias: I was standing a little bit aside.
Interviewer: And he didn’t vomit or get nauseous?
‘Adnan Elias: No, sir.
Interviewer: What is he, Dracula?
‘Adnan Elias: Huh?
Interviewer: Go on.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. He opened him up, took stuff out, and put TNT and explosives inside. Then he sewed up his stomach with thick thread.
Interviewer: With thread?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes. And a needle. He put the buttons back in place...
Interviewer: He buttoned him up.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, he buttoned him up. We were told to take him in the car near the square in Tel A’far. We threw him there and placed his head back on his shoulders.
Interviewer: My God!
‘Adnan Elias: 15 to 30 minutes later they told his family to come and get their son. His father came with two policemen. They picked up the body and made no more than two steps – we were standing far away – Ahmad Sinjar pressed the button.
Interviewer: By remote control.
‘Adnan Elias: The body exploded on them, and they died.
Interviewer: So his father and the two policemen died.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes sir, and we took off.
---
michael moore could not be reached for comment.
---
God help the Iraqi people and protect our servicemen.
"Man creates what he calls history as a screen to conceal the workings of the apocalypse from himself."
- Northrop Frye
---
’Adnan Elias: They told us to take him to the house of Habib ‘Izzat Hamu. We took him out there. We said to him: “Why did you do this and that… Why are you after us?” He answered: “It’s out of our hands. We get orders.” Then we were told to bring a knife.
Interviewer: You slaughtered him?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. Habib ‘Izzat Hamu got the knife. He slaughtered him, and when he was dead, he opened his shirt buttons and cut open his stomach.
Interviewer: Who opened him up?
‘Adnan Elias: Muhsin, sir.
Interviewer: When a doctor performs an operation he wears a surgeon’s mask over his nose and mouth.
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one.
Interviewer: He didn’t wear one?
‘Adnan Elias: No sir, he didn’t wear one. He cut open his stomach and took stuff out.
Interviewer: What did he take out?
‘Adnan Elias: I don’t know, his guts.
Interviewer: Weren’t you nauseous? Didn’t you vomit?
‘Adnan Elias: You mean Muhsin?
Interviewer: No, you.
‘Adnan Elias: I was standing a little bit aside.
Interviewer: And he didn’t vomit or get nauseous?
‘Adnan Elias: No, sir.
Interviewer: What is he, Dracula?
‘Adnan Elias: Huh?
Interviewer: Go on.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, sir. He opened him up, took stuff out, and put TNT and explosives inside. Then he sewed up his stomach with thick thread.
Interviewer: With thread?
‘Adnan Elias: Yes. And a needle. He put the buttons back in place...
Interviewer: He buttoned him up.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes, he buttoned him up. We were told to take him in the car near the square in Tel A’far. We threw him there and placed his head back on his shoulders.
Interviewer: My God!
‘Adnan Elias: 15 to 30 minutes later they told his family to come and get their son. His father came with two policemen. They picked up the body and made no more than two steps – we were standing far away – Ahmad Sinjar pressed the button.
Interviewer: By remote control.
‘Adnan Elias: The body exploded on them, and they died.
Interviewer: So his father and the two policemen died.
‘Adnan Elias: Yes sir, and we took off.
---
michael moore could not be reached for comment.
---
God help the Iraqi people and protect our servicemen.
"Man creates what he calls history as a screen to conceal the workings of the apocalypse from himself."
- Northrop Frye
29.4.05
it's been a while..
I hope to post much more consistently as soon as finals are over..
1. senior thesis seminar is today. symmetry in mechanics.
basic idea: symmetries of a system preserve the solution space. the conjugate momentum to a Lie symmetry's canonical translation coordinate is a resulting invariant up to a gauge-correction term.
2. prase God! He has given a place to live next year. a really nice place on lake union. a place close enough to walk back and forth from uw. a place where I could kayak every morning on foggy waters before class. a place to bring folks and host them next year.
God's grace and provision are humbling things. childlike revelry in the goodness of our Father glorifies Him, but sometimes when we realize the humiliation we put Him through as He gives those gifts.. praise be to the God who by all rights should obliterate us, but instead washes our feet and gives new life.
3. in lieu of the "bush lied! people died!' mantra that pervades any liberal campus like UPS, I thought it might be nice to see the democratic party's stance on WMDs up until michael moore.
---
"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line." President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998
"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998.
"Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face." Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998.
"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983." Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18,1998.
"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs." Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, John Kerry, and others Oct. 9, 1998
"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998.
"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies." Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999.
"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has reinvigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies." Letter to President Bush, Signed by Joe Lieberman (D-CT), John McCain (Rino-AZ) and others, Dec. 5, 2001
"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them." Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002.
"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002.
"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002.
"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002.
---
reiterating the twenty-three item list (one of which pertained to WMD development) drawn up by a bipartisan senate to justify war in iraq would simply be unnecessary.
but oh right, I forgot, our nation exists to serve oil interests. golly.
---
God will hold our nation accountable on the Day of Days. we will not stand without guilt, and we will know both the works God has accomplished through our country and the miseries internal and external. praise Him that He will judge with perfect wisdom, justice, and grace.
---
"Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
1. senior thesis seminar is today. symmetry in mechanics.
basic idea: symmetries of a system preserve the solution space. the conjugate momentum to a Lie symmetry's canonical translation coordinate is a resulting invariant up to a gauge-correction term.
2. prase God! He has given a place to live next year. a really nice place on lake union. a place close enough to walk back and forth from uw. a place where I could kayak every morning on foggy waters before class. a place to bring folks and host them next year.
God's grace and provision are humbling things. childlike revelry in the goodness of our Father glorifies Him, but sometimes when we realize the humiliation we put Him through as He gives those gifts.. praise be to the God who by all rights should obliterate us, but instead washes our feet and gives new life.
3. in lieu of the "bush lied! people died!' mantra that pervades any liberal campus like UPS, I thought it might be nice to see the democratic party's stance on WMDs up until michael moore.
---
"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line." President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998
"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998.
"Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face." Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998.
"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983." Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18,1998.
"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs." Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, John Kerry, and others Oct. 9, 1998
"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998.
"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies." Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999.
"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has reinvigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies." Letter to President Bush, Signed by Joe Lieberman (D-CT), John McCain (Rino-AZ) and others, Dec. 5, 2001
"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them." Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002.
"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002.
"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002.
"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002.
---
reiterating the twenty-three item list (one of which pertained to WMD development) drawn up by a bipartisan senate to justify war in iraq would simply be unnecessary.
but oh right, I forgot, our nation exists to serve oil interests. golly.
---
God will hold our nation accountable on the Day of Days. we will not stand without guilt, and we will know both the works God has accomplished through our country and the miseries internal and external. praise Him that He will judge with perfect wisdom, justice, and grace.
---
"Therefore, death first; you must first die to every merely earthly hope, to every merely human confidence; you must die to your selfishness, or to the world, because it is only through your selfishness that the world has power over you; if you are dead to your selfishness, you are also dead to the world. But naturally there is nothing a human being hangs on to so firmly, indeed, with his whole self!" - Soren Kierkegaard
22.2.05
time is ticking
time magazine recently published an article detailing possible negotiations between secular iraqi insurgents and american military forces. call me cynical, but I'd give a 60/40 chance that the negotiations are bogus and the leak to time was political and psychological in nature. consider the introductory quote in the article:
An account of the secret meeting between the senior insurgent negotiator and the U.S. military officials was provided to TIME by the insurgent negotiator. He says two such meetings have taken place. While U.S. officials would not confirm the details of any specific meetings, sources in Washington told TIME that for the first time the U.S. is in direct contact with members of the Sunni insurgency, including former members of Saddam's Baathist regime. Pentagon officials say the secret contacts with insurgent leaders are being conducted mainly by U.S. diplomats and intelligence officers. A Western observer close to the discussions says that "there is no authorized dialogue with the insurgents" but that the U.S. has joined "back-channel" communications with rebels. Says the observer: "There's a lot bubbling under the surface today."
now, why precisely would the insurgents (read: terrorist war criminals) in question choose to leak accounts of these negotiations? why would they specifically choose to leak them to time? in any event, we conclude that the leak was not random and it was motivated by self-interest. the question is what self-interest motivated the leak. there are two primary candidates:
1. the negotiator leaked accounts to time as a means of arousing an American public eager for an excuse to leave Iraq to put additional pressure on the military. this pressure might speed up negotiations and/or persuade our military to grant additional concessions as this newest public relations campaign begins.
2. the negotiator leaked accounts to time (a well-known mouthpiece of the ted "who cares about an election; I want an exit strategy" kennedy segment of American culture) as a means of arousing the American public (specifically the already-sympathetic anti-war subculture) as above, as a means of weakening our resolve to prolonged nation-building and/or conflict in Iraq. this would be consistent with bogus negotiations. once such talks were revealed as bogus, hopes would be let down further and there would be increased political pressure to withdraw from Iraq in the absence of a complete clean-up of insurgent activities.
in either event, we must recognize this leak for what it is: a call to arms from subhuman criminals to the michael moore-spoonfed crowd to grant concessions/mercy devoid of merit or justice.
"Mercy without Justice becomes unmerciful."
- C. S. Lewis
UPDATE: let me make clear what I describe as mercy in the final paragraph above. I look forward to the day when we will be able to properly exhibit mercy and compassion towards these folks, no matter how vile they may be. it will be our joy and call as Christians. however, when these folks receive compassion/mercy, it should be an act of volition, enabled by the Spirit. it should not be a result of mindless political pressure and ignorance.
An account of the secret meeting between the senior insurgent negotiator and the U.S. military officials was provided to TIME by the insurgent negotiator. He says two such meetings have taken place. While U.S. officials would not confirm the details of any specific meetings, sources in Washington told TIME that for the first time the U.S. is in direct contact with members of the Sunni insurgency, including former members of Saddam's Baathist regime. Pentagon officials say the secret contacts with insurgent leaders are being conducted mainly by U.S. diplomats and intelligence officers. A Western observer close to the discussions says that "there is no authorized dialogue with the insurgents" but that the U.S. has joined "back-channel" communications with rebels. Says the observer: "There's a lot bubbling under the surface today."
now, why precisely would the insurgents (read: terrorist war criminals) in question choose to leak accounts of these negotiations? why would they specifically choose to leak them to time? in any event, we conclude that the leak was not random and it was motivated by self-interest. the question is what self-interest motivated the leak. there are two primary candidates:
1. the negotiator leaked accounts to time as a means of arousing an American public eager for an excuse to leave Iraq to put additional pressure on the military. this pressure might speed up negotiations and/or persuade our military to grant additional concessions as this newest public relations campaign begins.
2. the negotiator leaked accounts to time (a well-known mouthpiece of the ted "who cares about an election; I want an exit strategy" kennedy segment of American culture) as a means of arousing the American public (specifically the already-sympathetic anti-war subculture) as above, as a means of weakening our resolve to prolonged nation-building and/or conflict in Iraq. this would be consistent with bogus negotiations. once such talks were revealed as bogus, hopes would be let down further and there would be increased political pressure to withdraw from Iraq in the absence of a complete clean-up of insurgent activities.
in either event, we must recognize this leak for what it is: a call to arms from subhuman criminals to the michael moore-spoonfed crowd to grant concessions/mercy devoid of merit or justice.
"Mercy without Justice becomes unmerciful."
- C. S. Lewis
UPDATE: let me make clear what I describe as mercy in the final paragraph above. I look forward to the day when we will be able to properly exhibit mercy and compassion towards these folks, no matter how vile they may be. it will be our joy and call as Christians. however, when these folks receive compassion/mercy, it should be an act of volition, enabled by the Spirit. it should not be a result of mindless political pressure and ignorance.
praise God!
got accepted into UW's ph.d. program for physics with a physics department fellowship. UW's particle physics division is highly ranked (#8) and their theory subset is particularly distinguished. I'm going up in a couple weekends to meet with faculty (hopefully matt strassler) and get introduced to the department.
this whole process has been an answer to so many prayers. I am still waiting to hear back from the eight other schools I applied to, trusting that God will take me wherever He wants to. however, I am seriously looking into uw's program for now and am more than enthused.
continuing prayer. I will admit I want to hear back from these schools now rather than later, especially as rachel is now intermixed with my future plans. basically lots of prayer.
quote of the day:
"Objective evidence and certitude are doubtless very fine ideals to play with, but where on this moonlit and dream-visited planet are they found?" - William James
thus illustrating the necessity of revelation in a convicted religious life.
got accepted into UW's ph.d. program for physics with a physics department fellowship. UW's particle physics division is highly ranked (#8) and their theory subset is particularly distinguished. I'm going up in a couple weekends to meet with faculty (hopefully matt strassler) and get introduced to the department.
this whole process has been an answer to so many prayers. I am still waiting to hear back from the eight other schools I applied to, trusting that God will take me wherever He wants to. however, I am seriously looking into uw's program for now and am more than enthused.
continuing prayer. I will admit I want to hear back from these schools now rather than later, especially as rachel is now intermixed with my future plans. basically lots of prayer.
quote of the day:
"Objective evidence and certitude are doubtless very fine ideals to play with, but where on this moonlit and dream-visited planet are they found?" - William James
thus illustrating the necessity of revelation in a convicted religious life.
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